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My baby doesn’t like me !


My baby doesn’t like me !


As the societies have evolved and increased financial needs many women have to go back to work right after their short maternity leave. It so happens that when you join work again or are away from your child you have to leave your baby with someone else. I have seen women complaining that their baby doesn’t like them, or when they get back home their baby starts being fussy and don’t want to come to them.
As a mother, I can understand this situation very well. You have had a human in your womb for around nine months, your little human shared your flesh, blood, thought and body for good long time and that makes you naturally feeling responsible to be there for them all the time. But because your life-needs do not allow you to be an EVERYTIME AVAILABLE mom, you feel guilty.
It might seem, that your baby is more comfortable with his daddy, or his grandparent and whenever you try to carry him or feed him he suddenly becomes angry and fussy. You might think that there is something wrong with you as a mother and you are not doing enough to bond with your child. Feeding and sleeping times become fighting times more often and ultimately you lay in your bed with tears rolling down your tired face and thinking that why my baby hates me.
Trust me on this, your baby never hates you. You are the mother, and you will always be the number one person in your baby’s life. There is no other person on the face of earth who can be as better of an understanding parent to your child as you are. All that is going on, that situations, emotions running through your head and the thought of not doing well, is just your mommy-guilt. It is only what is in your mind and has nothing to do with reality.
Know that when you talk about your infant that he doesn’t like you, it is a very premature time to be conclusive about that. Your baby has yet to explore his senses, his environment and the people around him, so you cannot just jump to a conclusion about your 4 or 5 months or younger baby that he doesn’t want to be with you or seem not to like you.

Some Tips

Now that you know, that your baby never hates you and it is all a part of your guilt, you can work on figuring out how to have your baby to expect your arrival from work and be happy about it. I have some suggestions that actually worked for me when I left my five months old baby at home with grandparents’ when I had to go to school.


1.       When you arrive home, just do not jump into doing chores because you want to do them to favor the people who took care of your child in the meanwhile, I mean just don’t throw your shoes and coat away and hop into kitchen to make meals. Come easy on yourself, give your self a little tension free time.
2.       Try to manage a sort of routine where when you get home your baby has already had a good nap, is well fed and ready to play with you. Make sure he is not so tired or hungry that he doesn’t want to care if mommy is home or not.
3.       Try breastfeeding your child when you get back home, if he doesn’t want, don’t force it unto him. Like I said, keep it easy on yourself and your baby also.
4.       It is better, that whenever you are home, your baby spends more awake time with you.
5.       You can ALWAYS, ALWAYS have the weekends at your hand to bond more with your baby and spend more time with him.
6.       Don’t get the guilt of not being present to your head. Tell yourself, that whatever you are doing is for your child’s betterment.
Trust me, I tried to follow these simple little things, and as of today my that child who I used to leave behind is the closest to me. He is now four years old; he loves me the most and thinks that I am the best. So much so that his other brothers like to sleep with daddy, but he would always slide into my bed and hug me from behind and this is the best feeling I get every day.


I hope you also pass this time nicely and see the fruit in the coming years.


Above is the picture from when he was so little and I would leave him with grandma to go to study.

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